The day started out so nicely. A sweet toddler snuggled in bed with us this morning (not too early). But by naptime, I had had enough. Too many times of telling the girl not to do something only to watch her do it. Too many times of hearing, "but I just..." The memory of her whining, foot-stamping, and going "boneless" up and down the aisles of Publix this morning. Enough! I sent her to her room, refused to read Madeline. Grrr!
And what does she say? Through her tears, crying, "But I want to obey! I want to be a good girl!"
She is so me. I know she's trying to avoid consequences, to get me to relent. But she is reflecting the battle that goes on in my own heart. I'd like to obey, I would. I know I should stop when I hear the Spirit saying "no." But do I? Instead, I suffer the consequences and then go running to the throne room, crying, "Abba! I want to be good."
"I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate...For I know that nothing good dwells within me, that is, in my flesh. I can will what is right, but I cannot do it. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I do. " Romans 7:15, 18-19
Our kids are here to show us our sinful self all day long, aren't they?
Ten minutes later, I peeked in her room. Already asleep, sheet up to her chin, thumb in her mouth, fingers woven through her blanket. Dare I say "angelic"?
And when she wakes up, sweet and looking for a hug, I'll be ready for her.